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First of all - they loved to fight each other - and after reading the chapter Liesel confesses you will easily understand why. But nevertheless they both also loved to beat me up for no obvious reason. Of course they always found a reason - but never something real. Whatever was available - a stick or their hands - usually with a hard object to avoid pain on their own hands.
Of course such beating only lasted while i was surely weaker than they were. Cowards never fight strong people only weak ones.
The amazing experience - when i think back to my own reaction after being beaten blue and green or just in pain - i remember that children apparently can forgive almost instantly. I remember that only minutes or hours later they came back to hug me and i could easily accept it with no bad feeling except the physical pain from being beaten - but there never ever was one single second of true love i ever felt from Hans or Liesel.
But ...
every child - specially the very small ones far below 8 or 10 years fully depends on their parents. Hence what other choice to to allow them to do whatever they want to do. A child depends on food from parents, on shelter, bed, clothes, on being allowed to learn or visit school, ...
later things may change and in other countries like here in South East Asia or Africa or South America a child without parents or after running away may easily find shelter among street children and grow up among them with far more love living in the streets than many children who apparently have " parents" and "home".
Hans and Liesel were in no way an exception. In our village after 1961 i know that many had very comparable "parents" love among parents and between parents and children was missing in many families there. In some more in others less. Beating children was simply normal - even at school by the teachers. I had a teacher for my 3rd grade - he loved to use his bamboo stick and beat up children, either hit the back of the hands with his bamboo or simply beat up our butts - me too i got my portion a few times in that year.
But ...
as written earlier in another chapter or newsletter - any resistance in life serves to let you grow faster and stronger - to make you grow stronger than any and all resistance in life or obstacles thrown into your life by others. No single person loves that kind of "love" - beating children is simply painful and cruel and causes lost time for the healing needed. I have no idea if ever my parents or others felt bad after beating me or each other. It seemed to me that this was the absolutely only method of growing up children they knew and also to deal with each other they had but violence in words and action against each other. I never can remember that even one single time Liesel and Hans kissed or hugged each other in my presence.
The more restriction in freedom i experienced - the more freedom i wanted. The more beating i got - the stronger i wanted to be. I was spending much of my time outdoor, in any weather all year round. In mountains, fields, playing with other children and hence i was growing fast and strong. Every once in a while we compared our forces - Hans and hans :-) and at the age of 12 years i was stronger than Hans and that was the end of any beating. And as soon as i knew that i was stronger i was ready to defend myself against Hans and Liesel as well.
By that age i could run faster, longer than Hans and was stronger - and my strength was increasing week after week the more and harder i worked on the farm and in the woods. Soon i practiced simple exercises martial art in my own small room and Hans knew it. All i ever wanted was
Once or twice around age 14 or so Hans attacked me with a dung fork but he never got closer than a few meters i was working with him and also had a dung fork and raised it for defense as soon as he attacked me - i was ready to face him and he was scared to attack and stopped. Later he never tried again. Except one single times at the age of 17. In the night he called me to come out to the horse stable - the horse, a Island Pony was breaking with the back legs into the cesspool and was already halfway down, risking to fall all the way and drawn totally. He called me to lift the back of our horse out. I did so and hence had both hands fully occupied lifting the back of the pony. For now obvious reason Hans spanked me with his stinking hand into my face and there was nothing i could do because i had to hold the pony or it would sink totally into the cesspool and drown.
Defend your territory with firm strength - but never enter other people's territory to attack them !
Liesel had her last spanking experience with me at my age of 16 - she was angry - i have no idea why - may be sexually frustrated with Hans leading to anger and violence. She was in my room and without any hit me full in my face ...
and a fraction of a second she had my response with full power. There is and must be an end to any kind of violence. Even if a mother thinks she can beat up or damage any one, children, animals or husband - the law of karma is valid for all and i did what i had to do to assure there never was any such incident again. I was really ready to defend my own life and freedom to the maximum. She cried and wanted me to excuse myself for returning her beating me. I never did so. Decades after - several years after my oneness with God i fully realized that beating her once back was totally wrong. She would have needed twice to instantly stop any violence against all others for good !
Leaving all others in peace within their own body, within their own aura, within their own room, apartment, house or country is the first step of creating freedom to spiritually progress and prepare for later reunification in God.
She stopped any violence against me - but still went on with violence and cruelty against animals and humans, mainly children. In God's creation sometimes there needs to be one person stopping the ONE who damages others. There never is a group or even country causing damage. Usually there is but ONE single person in charge of wars and cruelties against humanity and creation. Just exactly like Willhelm Tell from Switzerland around 1391 or so had to stop Gessler with an arrow from his crossbow to protect his entire country and family as well.
At the age of 18 with a special permit signed by Hans and Liesel i went to military - one year earlier than usual, hence the need for a special permission signed by legal guardians. The only reason why i decided to go so early was to have freedom from "home". But of course i was well prepared for my military service - at the age of 16 already i enrolled in paramilitary training for a special unit learning Morse code each winter in paramilitary evening classes to gain access for that special unit - to have fun doing something useful that i could use later on in civil life as well. That military education and training only made it possible later on to easily find a job as technician and wireless operator for a large humanitarian organization and to enjoy many interesting missions in various countries of war.
Strong love can only come from strong and healthy body.
By the age of 20 - half a year after my serious car crash i was lifting more than 210 kg from the bottom and there never was anyone ever to spank me anywhere in the world and i never allowed anyone to fight weaker ones or children.
It was the situation of repeated cruelties and violence that caused me to grow far stronger than most others. It was this strength that allowed me to live my freedom much earlier than most others as well. Hence Hans and Liesel finally have been beating me strong and free for my very own benefit.
Love can only be truly experienced and enjoyed in total freedom. Total freedom however requires that you maintain integrity and insist of being what God made you - a free child of God. Love is all i ever wanted - to love in peace - and love needs rock solid roots - specially here on "earth" - here in hell.
I took time for love and my own style of living in freedom and all blood pressure problems disappeared as all emotional stress disappeared and love started to freely flow
Before i left home in April 1971 - i always and for many years had extreme high blood pressure - values like 90/180 even higher have been normal for many years until age 20. Already with less than 16 years of age this high blood pressure started. The family doctor always warned me that i have to eat less salty or i may die within years only. That all was all totally wrong. The extreme emotional stress and pressure at home caused all that ... because very soon after i left home for good all went back to normal without any change in food, habits, food, or whatever - except that i had peace to enjoy life after work - in my own self created home where ever i was on this planet.
Around the age of 16 i already had most of my life under my direct control - i worked in day time in my apprenticeship, in evening i usually had various classes like Spanish, seafood cooking, typewriting, dancing, paramilitary education, paramilitary club (EVU) , giving paramilitary classes myself at the age of 17, and during weekends i went working loading and unloading 14-17 tons of milk in cans of 45 kg onto a truck from all neighbor villages and bringing them to the dairy company in Basel - all such activities kept me busy and helped me earning enough money to be free and pay for all my own needs like school or vocational training ...
and to go out dancing most of the late evenings until the last dance starting about age 18 - my parents never realized how late i came home. Dancing was medicine for soul, heart and body for me - i loved dancing and i still love to dance. Much later in life i counted approximately my lifetime hours of partner dancing and came to approximately 10'000 hours ...
When i returned home after all learning and dancing - walking the 10-14 km to assure there is never any ego-swine within my body to play weak or tired - it usually was far beyond midnight and all at home were sleeping except the dogs were barking loud each time i came home late night and by the time i got up in the morning and left for work again around 5 AM most of the time they all still have been sleeping except in summer time when work in the field starts around 4:30 AM.
In summer time, i stayed sometimes away from home for a night and slept in a park on a hard wooden bench near the river. It saved me time and was more pleasant than being at "home". I love to sleep outdoor under the open sky and stars. 3 hours of sleep was enough most of the time in my teenage years.
Instantly after leaving home i rearranged my life and took full control of all. And peace and love started to be in my life all the time.
You always have in your life what you create as soon as you are allowed to created and manage your own life. You are allowed to create your own life and destiny as soon as you are strong enough to do what you want and to pay what you need. The last part often is overlooked by many young men and women nowadays. The one who pays has the saying. That is a saying i often heard and i surely agree with it. Even at 16b or so you can be strong enough to pay ALL in full from your very own income and hence be fully free. Happy those people who are allowed to leave home or run away from such parents at any age. But at least elementary school education and a solid useful profession is what all need. Joblessness or lack of professional qualifications always leads to loss of strength and loss of freedom !!!
The integrity of each person is divine - even of babies or children - and no single person nor any authority on earth ever has a right of any kind or justification to damage or restrict or destroy such freedom and integrity of humans or animals - of any living being in entire creation.
Many millions of others out on this planet even nowadays in a different time than my youth have the very same or even much worse problems. No matter how bad id may feel at the moment - take all your heart and strength - and grow stronger and stronger - remain peaceful to all and learn to be strong enough to walk into freedom as soon as your wise heart knows that you are ready to go on your own and create your own happy life.
He gave me nothing but true love from my early creation billions of years ago until these seconds and for the remainder of eternity - because God is love. God will heal all YOUR wounds you may temporarily have as a result of any damage or painful experience on earth. My father did so to me and will do so to all - just open your heart for all the love and bliss - rich out for his helping hand and you see how easy life can be if you make one choice - the right one - the only one - to return home in love.
Never waste time or energy or other resources for revenge or punishment - be strong - walk into freedom and be free. Never allow anyone to stop you on your way to freedom. Just walk into freedom while being open for God and love to all. Others will learn to love and to be divine when they are ready and willing to learn and God will take care of all those then when they are ready and reach out for God. For you it is time to walk and love yourself into freedom and take along whoever is ready to join you now.
All these violent experiences and cruelties i observed or felt showed me since earliest childhood the importance of true values in life - ture lasting eternal values - such as
Hence all my childhood made sense and was most helpful to me for my spiritual preparation - because i had no Guru to teach me any true values - there has been no God-realized Guru available at all during my childhood. All these experiences have been valuable to me because i learned to look and strive for true love only - also in partnership. Lasting love from hell to heaven and for eternity and always open for God. god was guiding me with love and wisdom through all needed experiences on earth to become one with him again as soon as possible in this physical body.
Overview all chapters Angels of Love