I do think I have heard it before. I really wonder how on earth could you have done all of this?! I have such respect from you although sometimes it seems you're making things up. 100 hours+ a week. 15 hours a day times 7 = 105. Thats only work without almost any sleep man! I mean besides those 15 hours of work a day you surely had to do something else too and then there is little time left for energy refill during sleep.

One question; You see, I always had big problems listening to others telling me what to do. So how in the name of god can I prevent myself from
going nuts from all the nonsense that I am about to hear from all of them? And how can I keep at least a little peace of mind inside my head during all of the work that I'll have to do?

I live in an invironment where drugs are one of the priorities in human life. So ofcourse I tried too in the past. But all these experieces that
I've made have come to realize me that I barely have anything in common with people surrounding me. At least in the sense of thinking about what
we will do with our lives... I don't enjoy discos, in every that I've been only stoned people were there and every time I've been there was a fight untill someone had to be taken to the hospital. I don't go to school anymore, I don't see a point to go and theorize about different philosophies and relative laws. I barely watch any tv, there is nothing on but violence or brainwashing, sometimes theres a good show/movie, but just sometimes. However my point is todays youth/adult interests are none of my interests. And its just hard to get along with all of these. I'm a social being, I like a few people around me, but all the time they talk about nonsense, so I really feel better of on my own or alone. At the end of the weekend I usually go with a friend on a mountain, 2-3 hours walk one way, depends where we go. I really am gratefull for that I don't have to go alone here, its kinda boring. And the occasional soccer, basketball hobbie matches are good too. Better than hanging in a bar and drinking coffee. I stopped smoking too, and I won't light again. It totally blocks me.

So if I sum all this up, I come to kind of a conclusion I don't have anything else to do than work, but as I said before, how can I keep myself from losing my mind? Because how can I advance on the path of love without freedom and peace of mind?