Just a question, am I initiated? I've done the initation in December and I do the kriya, not every day, sometimes I can't, is this wrong? Do I have to do the complete program every time or can I do sometimes only the kriya or only the god yoga? I do it like this:

1. Maha Mudra *3
2. Navi Kriya *4
3. Kriya Pranayama (*4 right now)
4. God Yoga

Sometimes so many dark thoughts come to my mind during this meditation I'm scared to continue, what am I doing wrong? OR do I have to go past this self created dark dreams? This happened yesterday as I wanted to scream, but people were in the house so I hold the scream in me.

I did not know I can choose you as my guru... I am only now becoming aware what a privilegue is that I have found you and I felt not worthy enough you to be my guide... would you be my guru even after you leave the physical existance? I'm young and before I'm ready you will probably leave here...but I don't want anyone else to guide me.

This leads me to another question about this spiritual person that I sometimes go to, he is not really my guru, but a reiki teacher and he is teaching me reiki and healing and such. is it wrong that I go to him and/or should I stop?