first, thank you for the reply.. although i dont agree with most of what you say, you have really made me think.

is a man not made to be loved? is it not normal for one to have problems in life whether it be drugs or not? is it not right that through love and happiness together, the both of us can get pull eachother out of a dark past and into a new and bright life?

you missed the point and have it all wrong.. we both come from troubled pasts.. i dont NEED her to keep me away from drugs, she is not my crutch in life.. she is my love and i am hers

is it really so wrong that through our love we have helped eachother overcome major obstacles in life together, as a couple.. a couple in love..

you say she is my rescuer? well no more then i am hers, is she also my burden too? is my father instinct no worse then her mothers? are you really saying that through our unrelenting love and care, our happiness and success with eachother is the product of a weak and false love?

i look after her and she looks after me, how can this be so wrong? our love is boundless and nothing will change that

those men did not love her, they took advantage of a drunk girl,a girl who i now love dearly, and used her for sex.. i have never felt or loved another the way i do her, and her with me...

am i jealous? am i weak? if i wasnt jealous or weak i wouldnt be having this horrific thoughts and i pray to god every day they go away, hence my problems..

im not looking for advice on whether or not we love eachother, nothing anyone says will change our hearts

i seek guidance to help me rid myself of these "jealous" and "weak" thoughts, which is destroying me from the inside out

i pray to god he will show me the way, whether or not hes heard me yet or ive just missed his call.. i dont know

god bless you hans,

jason